Teen titans: New Fads

Beastboy sat on the couch playing his new pokemon soul silver game on his shiny blue DS.


"Yeah go chikorita! Kill that pidgey mofo!" Beastboy yelled at the screen, tapping relentlessly. "Stupid pidgey stop using sand attack!"


Raven sat next to him reading one of her many books, but Beastboy's constant screaming and thrashing was giving her a headache.


"Ha ha pidgey I freaking caught you!" Beastboy pointed at the pokeball on his screen that now contained the bird pokemon.


"Shut up Beastboy, it's a game they can't hear you!"


"I know that Raven sheesh, but this game is so stressful that I have to get my anger out somehow." He grinned like an insane person.


"Just keep it down…or better yet leave!"


"No way I was here first!


"No I was!"


"I was!"


"No Beastboy I was."


Beastboy pushed Raven off the couch, she looked up to see him laughing and doing a little victory dance. Calmly she lifted off the green teen from the couch and dropped him on the floor with a thud!


"Ow! Hey that's not fair!" Beastboy whined, rubbing his backside.



"Life isn't fair." She replied. "Now when did you get that stupid game?"


"Yesterday, Robin gave it to me so I would leave him alone."


"I believe that."


Beastboy held the DS out infront of the empath. "Do you want to play?"


"Only idiots play video games, much less pokemon." She scoffed.


Beastboy looked shocked. "Oh no! You did not just say that! We are going down to game stop right now to buy you a pokemon heart gold, and a DS for you right now." he grabbed her hand and pulled her out the door.


"Wait you mean there's more than one?" then for the first time in a long time there was silence in the main room.

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A few minutes later Robin ran into the main room wielding a bat. "This is the last time I tell you two to stop bickering about stupid stuff--oh they're not here…" Robin dropped the bat on the floor. "This is strange." he crossed over to the couch and flicked on the TV, turning it to cops. "Now this is more like it!" the boy wonder relaxed on the couch and started to watch his favorite show.

"Bad boys, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when Robin comes for youuuu?!" He sang, while eating some newly popped popcorn.


Starfire entered the room then, having just got back from the mall. "Raven! Guess what I have bought for you this time!"


"She and Beastboy aren't here Star!" Robin called from the couch.


"And Cyborg?"


"I think he's in the garage or some shiz."


Starfire plopped down on the couch next to the masked teen. "So…we are all alone?"


"Yes…and you know what that means." Robin winked. The alien girl nodded and leaned closer to the boy wonder. "Cops marathon!!" He yelled excitedly. Starfire sighed and buried her face in her hands.


Suddenly, much to Robin's dismay Beastboy and Raven reentered, both glued to their DS screens. They both sat next to each other on the couch, playing their handheld games.


"What did you name your character Raven?" Beastboy asked not looking up from the screen.


"Raven."


"Oh…I named mine BB. What did you name your rival, coz I named mine Tard, so whenever I battle him, it says vs. Tard." Beastboy laughed.


"I named mine Beastboy."


"Well then I guess we're rivals." he stuck his nose in the air.


"Guess so."


"What's your starter pokemon?"

"Cyndaquil."


"Cool…hey your pokemon has an advantage over mine."


"Exactly." Raven smirked.


"Well played, my clever friend."


Starfire watched to two talk and laugh, while playing their DS's. "Excuse me Raven and Beastboy, what video game are you playing now?"


"Pokemon." They both said in unison.


"May I play?"


"No!" Raven growled. "Don't even think about touching my game! Oh Beastboy I caught a spearow!"


"Yeah well I caught a pidgey before and its waaay better than yours.


"Is not."


"Is too!"


"Is not!"


"Is too!"


"ARRRHG! I cant take it anymore!" Robin yelled. "You guys don't get along over ANYTHING!" with that Robin left the room, Starfire, feeling awkward left also. Beastboy looked up from his game.

"Robin did you say something? Wait where did they go?"


"Who cares?" Raven replied.
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The next morning Robin entered the kitchen to make some bacon, eggs, and ham! When he saw that Beastboy and Raven were still in the exact same spot as last afternoon.


"Wow you guys need to get a life." he commented, as he started to get breakfast ready for his alien princess. He cut a small piece of the ham in a circle, then added the eggs, to make a mountain shape, then he added the freshly cooked bacon to the top to make a spewing effect. Lastly he doused the dish in mustard to make a ham, eggs, bacon, and mustard volcano.


He sat the dish down on the table beside a glass of more mustard. As if on cue Starfire entered and sat down at the breakfast table.


"Oh Robin is this food for me?"


"Just for you babe." He reassured her, although she had already started eating. In two minutes her plate was licked clean and Robin placed it next to the sink with the piles of dirty dishes.


"Thank you for the breakfast Robin." She smiled.


"No problem." He sat down next to her to eat his breakfast of just two eggs and a slice of bacon. He observed the alien girl as he ate taking in her beauty. "Star you look very p--"


"Stupid team rocket beat my pokemon!" Raven raged from the couch. In the kitchen the toaster exploded.


"What were you going to say Robin?"


"Oh, well I was going to say that you--"


"Son of a team rocket!" Beastboy yelled. "Leave the magikarp alone!"


Robin pounded his fist on the counter. "Those guys seriously have a problem."


"They do." Starfire agreed.


"What's up BB? Ready for a rematch on the game station?" Cyborg bounced into the room, and landed on the couch next to the gamer addicts.


"Can't Cy, I have to beat this gym…oh yea go chikorita! Use razor leaf!"


"Well fine then just ignore your best friend." Cyborg mumbled getting up. "I guess I'll go get some waffles…yeah waffles they're always there for me, unlike a certain green person I could mention."


The robot man walked into the kitchen, pulling out a stack of frozen waffles from the freezer, his eye darted around the counter.


"Hey where's the toaster?"


"I believe Raven blew it up." Starfire replied. Cyborg fainted, sending a huge shock through the tower. "Oh! Robin! Should we help him?"


"No…he does this once a week."


"Hello Robean!" Slade suddenly appeared on the screen. Robin instantly jumped up from his chair.


"Slade…where are you?"


"I'll give you a hint."


"Okay."


"That was my hint." The screen went blank.


"Nooo! That psycho! Okay if I spend twelve hours in the evidence room every day…that leaves four…no five hours to fight crime and three to sleep…perfect!"


Starfire looked concerned. "Robin don't overwork yourself."


"That won't happen Star." He replied as he walked out the door. Starfire just sighed and cleaned up the kitchen table.
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The alarm went off but Starfire noticed that Cyborg was still on the floor, due to waffle withdrawal. Meanwhile Beastboy and Raven had moved to Beastboy's room because everyone was wreaking their concentration. No one made any sign of heeding to the alarm.

Robin sat in the evidence room thinking about what Slade's hint was.


"What the crap! What does hint have to do with anything!?"


Starfire's muffled voice floated into the room. "Robin may I come in?"


"Yeah!"


She entered. "Robin the alarm is going off."


"Oh…so it is, you guys got this right?"


"Well actually it is just me, the others are busy."


Robin thought for a second. "What kind of crime is it?"


"I believe it is a burglary."


"Okay then you got this Star! Go get em!" He qucikly pushed her out of the room.


"Okay Robin I wont let you--"


"My god, can't a guy sit in a dark room with no food, or water for 12 hours without interruption?"


The alien flew out of the tower, and to downtown jump city. She quickly found the place, which was the national bank due to the bank alarm going off. Starfire softly landed on the ground in front of the building, the sun was starting to dip below the horizon as she stepped inside the deserted bank.


"I wonder why the alarm is going off?" Then she looked behind her and remembered her friends had not came. "Robin said I could figure this out by myself." She said to reassure herself. "But it feels strange to be alone."


"You feeling lonely too girl?" A figure came out of the dark holding a bag of cash.


"Who are you?" Starfire questioned.


"What?…I'm I'm Red-X!" He cried. "And I have been in love with you Starfire since I first laid eyes on you."


"But I do not believe we have met before…"


"Are you serious? I've been in like three episodes! Whatever my plan worked." He sent a giant X toward Starfire that hugged her tight and strapped her arms to her body leaving her defenseless.


"X…marks the spot." He walked over to her and kneeled down to her level.


"I remember you now." She spat. "You are the villain with the horrible puns!"


"That's me!" He picked her up.


"Where are you taking me?" She asked, trying to fly, use starbolts, anything. "And how come my powers aren't working?


"That will be explained later babe you don't want to say things too quickly, you might give the plot away, and your powers aren't working because...because hey I don't know! I ain't no scientist!"


"Would someone wish to help me?"
-------------------------______________------____________________________________




"So I'm on the elite four." Raven stated.


"What no way! You got all eight gym badges?" Beastboy looked astonished.


"Yeah it was a piece of cake with my typhlosion."


"Your pokemon evolved? Mines still a bayleef."


"Wow Beastboy you fail at raising pokemon." Raven laughed.


"Oh yeah, well what level is your typhlosion?"


"70"


Beastboy fell off the bed. "No way!"


"Yes way. Oh and I just beat the elite four, oh I'm going to pwn you freaking Lance!!"


"Whoa Raven calm down its just a game."


Flames shot out of Raven's eyes. "Its not just a game idiot!"


"Well actually…." Beastboy felt sweat run down his back. "You know what, I think I'll just play my DS under my bed."


"Ha Lance I killed your dragonite! And I'll beat this one too! Go sneasel use ice fang! Ha fool!"


"Maybe I shouldn't have bought Raven that game." Beastboy said to himself. "She's better at pokemon than me! That's it I gotta train my pokemon, so I can beat her once and for all!"
________________________________________________________________________



Starfire awoke in a small tube. "How did I get here?"


"Yo! Wazzup?" Red-X replied, jumping out from no where. The shock sent Starfire spiraling backwards.


"Let me out!"


"Hahahahahah….no I lugged you all they way from that bank to here and-"


"Where is here?" The alien asked.


"it's a secret."


"Why?"


"That is also a secret."


"Well then I will just break out myself." she tried kicking, punching, shooting star bolts and laser beams before laying down in a tired heap. Red-X chuckled, obviously amused at her petty attempts to free herself.


"Yeah, fat chance you'll get out of that shock absorbing tube."


A door creaked open, and the sounds of someone walking downstairs echoed through the place.


"Red, did you bring home another hooker again?" Slade asked walking out of the shadows.


"No this is Starfire." Red-X tried to correct the evil mastermind.


"Who's that?"


"Starfire from the teen titans."


Slade slapped his hand to his face. "Oh yeah that one! You were supposed to kidnap all of them fool!"


"Weeeell only she showed up, what was I supposed to do?"


"I don't know…figure it out, try to actually be evil for once, you're working with a professional." Slade shook his head. "The talent these days. Back in my day evil actually meant something."

"I-I'm sorry mommy." The thief looked down.


Slade looked at Red-x like he was a crazy person. "I'm not your mother, I'm someone much worse."


"Who are you?"


Slade's eye narrowed. "I'm your grandma!"


"haha whut?"
________________________________________________________________________



"Hey has any of you two seen Starfire?" Robin leaned in Beastboy's doorway, watching him and Raven play pokemon.


"Nope."


"Well that's funny, because she went on a mission yesterday and…."


"Robin did you stay in the evidence room all night?" Raven asked.


"….Its not like you two are any better, when have you put that game down last Raven?"


"Can't put game down."


"What if whatever she encountered was too much for her!" Robin came into a realization. Raven and Beastboy looked up also.


"Uh oh…." a wave of guilt passed over the three teens.

"Why did you let her go alone Robin?"


"I don't know."


"Well" Raven stood up. "Lets get going."


Robin put his hand up. "No, I must go alone."


"What? Why?" Beastboy asked. "Do you wanna be prince charming or something?"


"Yes…and I know that this was all Slade's plan from the start."


"Robin that is the most idiotic idea ever, Slade's not behind this, you're just crazy." Raven shook her head.


"We'll see about that." Robin left the room.


"Well I say let him go." Raven flopped on Beastboy's bed.


"Yeah, I gotta beat the elite four!" Beastboy yelled at the game. "Go megainium!…Hey Raven whatever happened to Cyborg?"


"Don't you remember? He went to waffle eaters anonymous."


"Oh yeah…"

________________________________________________________________________



Robin walked aimlessly around the city trying to pick up a signal from Starfire's communicator.

"Wow this sucks." he walked down a seemingly deserted alley, but a shadow was following him. Robin turned around and tried to kick the thing. He stopped short when he noticed it was a person in a black hoody. The person put out its arms in defense.


"Don't hurt me Robin." The stranger squeaked. Robin, ignoring the strangers plea, grabbed him by the collar, which was difficult because of the strangers protruding belly, and hoisted him up.


"Who are you? Why have you been following me around?" Robin growled.


"Because Robin I want to help you! I want to help you bring down Slade and Red-X!"


"Slade?" Robin had enough and pulled down the strangers hood. "Control freak?"


"Yeah its me! Ha! Are you surprised adversary?"


"Actually no…"


"Anyways Robin I want to help you bring down Slade and Red-X"


Robin's eyes narrowed. "How did you know Slade was behind this?"


"Because he's like the coolest titan foe ever! Excluding me of course."


Robin dropped the obese teenager on the ground. "You're not worth my time."


"Wait!" Control freak grabbed Robin's shoulder "I know where Slade's hiding out!"


The boy wonder turned his head. "How?"


"Well he had some try outs so young up and coming villains could audition to be his new apprentice…"


"And he picked you?"


"Well….no."


"Okay good, because there is no way I would want to be in the same class as you."


Flames shot out of the fanboy's eyes. "And I want to get back at him for not picking me! Instead he goes and picks that punk Red-X!"


Robin nodded. "I see. So you have to use me, your mortal enemy to get back at your new mortal enemy."


"Yeah." Control freak took in a deep breath. "I smell a new fanfic coming!"


"Really? Because I smell bacon. Now where the hell is Slade's hideout!?" Robin yelled, causing Control freak to hide behind 5 trashcans.


"Uh…its way uptown, hard to explain, its where all the villains hang out…the cool ones anyway."


Robin kicked the trashcans out of the way. "What are you waiting for fool?" Control Freak followed Robin out of the alley. The masked teen pushed a button on his belt and the R-cycle came roaring down the street.


Control freak squealed. "I get to ride on the R-cycle? This is great."


Robin handed him a helmet. "Don't get any of your nerd germs on it." control freak shimmied on the helmet and jumped on the front.


"Don't worry Robin, I can drive this baby."


Robin pointed to the ground. "Off." The fanboy frowned and got off, Robin took the front and Control freak sat in the back.


"Vrooooom vrooo vrooom."


"Control freak shut up! I haven't even started the cycle yet."


"Oh….sorry."


And they were roaring down the street.
________________________________________________________________________






"So what were you going to do with all the teen titans…if you captured them?" Red X asked sipping a cup of joe, and lounging on the couch.


Slade turned to look at the hockey masked man. "You mean if YOU captured them!" Red X winced. "Well I would've taken over the city while they were held at my mercy." He crushed his glass mug in his hands, and poured the remains on the floor. "But that doesn't matter now." They turned their attention to the security cameras to see Robin and Control Freak walking around the building. "They'll come one by one."


Starfire watched helplessly, as her friend…and enemy wondered into a trap.






"So I don't think they know we're here." Control freak said, breaking the silence. "Can we take a break?" He panted "This is the most I've walked all year." the obese villain plopped down. "Got any snacks? My blood sugar's pretty low."


Robin tensed up, all the way here this idiot wouldn't shut up or stop complaining. "No I don't not have any snacks." he turned around, and Control freak cowered under the masked teen's glare. Robin just shook his head and walked away.


"Jeez, spaz out much?" Control freak huffed. He then wobbled up and followed the boy wonder down the tunnel. "So uh…why do you want to get Slade? I mean he hasn't done anything…yet."


"Exactly, I want to stop him before he does anything." Robin grumbled. "And plus I made a mistake and I need to make it up to someone."


Control freak elbowed the masked teen on the arm. "Come on we're friends here, what was the mistake?"


Robin looked down to see his arm, had some sort of sticky orange substance on it. "Well if you must know." Robin brushed off the orange food. "And I don't think you would want to because it has to deal with Starfire, and since I know you being an obese and fail villain would never have a chance with her….but she was captured. By Red X."


Control freak did a double take. "You mean beautiful Starfire is…here?"


"Uh yeah fool. Why do you care? Whoa!" Control freak grabbed Robin's cape and pulled him down the tunnel, while sucking in his gut and putting on his best heroic face.


"Onward!" He shouted. "The princess awaits!"





"Looks like they'll be here soon Slade." Red X announced.


"Well its about time. 3 2 1."


The metal doors were kicked open. "I'm here for you Slade!" Robin jumped into the room.


Control freak rolled in, just after, and stopped in a battle stance infront of Robin. "Starfire, your prince is here to save you!" he galloped to the entrapped princess, before Robin grabbed his collar.


"Hold on, I'm her one and only prince okay!" Robin yelled. "Prince the singer doesn't count!" the two started tussling on the ground. Slade shook his head.


"WRONG!" Robin and Control freak looked up to see Red X holding Starfire in his arms. She was still trapped by that red stuff, and was squirming to get free. "Wrong!" He repeated. "I am the true prince!"


"You cant be the prince." Control freak scoffed. "Princes are supposed to rescue the princess not capture her you tard!" Robin nodded in agreement.


Red X just chuckled. "Yeah, that is the crap prince Disney made, the real princes are evil…and sexy like me! So maybe you should stop watching Disney movies...tards."


"Hey I do not watch Disney movies…wait." Control freak stopped in mid sentence. "….so!"



Red X and Robin both face palmed.


"Anyway Red X and Slade! Do you know why I betrayed you?"


"No and I don't really care." Slade sighed, and slid into his hot tub. "Robin would you like to join me?"


Robin's eye twitched. "No never again!"


"You guys didn't see my potential!" Control freak, asserted himself into the conversation. "But what do you to think now that I lead the boy wonder here to your hide out?"

"I think you overstayed your welcome." Slade clapped his hands and a trap door opened up under the obese teen's feet.


"Ahhhhh!" He descended out of sight.


"Wow thanks Slade."


"Anytime Robin."


The masked teen then turned his attention back to Red X. He was still holding Starfire and smirking under his mask.


"Robin!" Starfire yelled. "Get Raven and Beastboy to come help you! These two are too much!"


Red X turned toward the red head. "Did you say Raven, because I have been in love with her since the moment I laid eyes on her."


Robin took this opportunity to leap into the air, and kick the masked anti hero in the face while catching Starfire in his arms in one heroic swoop. "Nice distraction." he commented, while using a Rob-a-rang to cut all the red chemical off of her.


She grinned. "You can, as they say, thank me later."


"Wow…" Slade commented. "That was pretty pathetic."


"You know what Slade, you'll never find an apprentice as good as me!" Robin gloated.


"You're right, there was you…and then Terra, Control freak, and then finally Red X."


"Yeah and they all fail except me!"


"Well you don't have to rub it in." Slade frowned.


"Yeah Robin that is a little insensitive." Starfire added.


Robin shrugged. "So shoot me. Are you ready to fight Slade?"


"Another day Robin." Slade's head submerged under the water of the hot tub and disappeared.


"Oh no you don't!" The boy wonder ran and jumped headfirst into the small pool. "Ow!" He came up rubbing his head.


Starfire kneeled by the pool side. "Robin may we go home now?"


"Yeah, lets get out of this place."
________________________________________________________________________





"Are you ready for this Raven?" Beastboy and Raven sat on the couch, getting ready to battle wirelessly on their DS's.


"Yeah, I beat Red, and I'll defeat you too." Raven bragged.


"I'd like to see you try! Okay here we go!"



Lady Raven would like to battle. Lady Raven sent out FLAFFY.


"Go STELLIX!"



"FLAFFY use thunder shock!"


A critical hit.


"Ha it knocked half of its HP off Beastboy!"


"Oh yeah, well take this!"


STEELIX used earthquake! Magnitude 7! Its super effective! FLAFFY fainted!


Raven blinked in disbelief at her screen "No way!" But then she smirked. "Go Gyarados!"



"It's red!" Beastboy gawked.



GYARADOS used surf! Its super effective!


STEELIX fainted.


"Stupid Gyarados!" Beastboy shrieked.



"Hey BB SHUT UP!" Cyborg yelled from the kitchen. His waffles anonymous meetings hadn't worked out very well as he was making about 10 in his new super toaster.



"Hell no!"


Robin and Starfire sat on the opposite side of the couch watching the pokemon trainers with no interest.


"Hey Cyborg I think if you were in the pokemon show you would be Brock since you're a ladies man." Robin joked.


The cybernetic hero shook his head. "Naw man I would be Ash, he's the real pimp in the show."


"Pffft no he's not!"


"Yeah, but I buy the uncut DVDs. At the end of the episodes Ash always goes back and gets the girl" Cyborg winked, and Robin's face paled.


"Uhhh….."



"Okay Goooooo Meganium!" Beastboy yelled at the screen.


"NO!."



BB sent out MEGANIUM. GYARADOS used twister. MEGANIUM used razor leaf! Its super effective.


GYARADOS fainted. Raven glared at the changeling. "This isn't over!"



MEGANIUM VS. TYPHLOSION


MEGANIUM FAINTED.


"Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!" The changeling cried out. "This is my last pokemon! Go LUGIA!"



"Go HO OH!"



LUGIA VS HO OH!



"Wait!"


Raven and Beastboy's eyes became as big as dinner plates, someone was hacking into their battle!


"Go pikachu!"



PIKACHU used thunder, LUGIA and HO OH fainted. Raven and BB lost. Wow you guys suck.


Raven's eyes turned black. "Who the hell did this?!"


"What the hell?" Beastboy asked, shaking his DS. "Who hacked our game?"


"Allow me to enlighten you titans!" All five teens turned their heads towards the big windows. Control Freak rose up from the floor, microphone in hand.



"Hey how did you get in here?" Cyborg shrieked. "How did you get past the tower's security?"


Control freak brushed his question off. "Are you guys ready to rock?" The fanboy put the microphone to his lips as the music started to play.



"Where's that music coming from?" Robin's masked eyes darted around the room. The other titans started to get nervous, and sunk in their seats.




"I wanna be the very best like no one ever was!" Control freak pointed at all the titans. "To catch them is my real test to train them is my cause!"





"Don't look now Raven, but I think it was Control freak that hacked into our battle." Beastboy whispered in the empath's ear.


"No" She answered sarcastically.





"I will travel across the land, searchin' far and wide!


Each pokemon to understand the power that's inside!


POKEMON, gotta catch 'em all


Its you and me! I know its my destiny!


POKEMON!


Oh you're my best friend in a world we must defend!




Suddenly the titans had been transformed.  Beastboy donned an Ash outfit, and a Pikachu plushie  was on his shoulder.


"What the heck?" The pikachu doll stared into his soul. Beastboy cringed.


Raven wore misty's outfit and held a staryu doll in her hands. "How ironic, but this side pony tail works for me."


"Raven does this not look good on me?" Starfire asked. She had a nurse Joy outfit on, and she hugged a chancey doll to her chest.


Robin was dressed as Brock. He stood in front of a fake geodude. "Oh god, how did Control freak know that cosplaying was my weakness?"


"Hey why the hell am I dressed like a girl?" Cyborg wore an officer Jenny outfit, with a fake growlithe doll behind him. "Although I do look pretty good in this." He struck a pose.




"POKEMON! A heart so trueee!


Our courage will pull us through!


You'll teach me and I'll teach youuu!


POKEMON!


Gotta catch 'em all! Gotta catch em all! Yeah


POKEMON!"